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Let’s take a moment to boo this dude. I won’t even bother to cover up his name or photo, because he doesn’t deserve it.

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I’m back.

After a five month OkCupid hiatus, I’m back. My job picked up and I’ve barely had time to see my friends, let alone date. Here’s hoping I’ll finally meet someone who doesn’t belong in a psych ward my match!

 

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Let’s dissect this question, starting from the minimal amount of time it takes to get ready: 
1. “20 minutes and you look ok…” Because girls just can’t be pretty without makeup. Duh. 
2. “1 hour and I can’t keep my hands off you”- So, it takes one hour of primping to look irresistibly hot. ONE HOUR? My face would be as spackled as Kim Kardashian’s. But if that’s what you’re into…
3. “2 hours and do I die of starvation?”- Two hours would make me fucking supermodel status. But then you might die.
I certainly don’t want your hands on me, and I certainly don’t want you to die of starvation, so in that case I’ll opt for B. Sorry I just look “ok…”

Let’s dissect this question, starting from the minimal amount of time it takes to get ready: 

1. “20 minutes and you look ok…” Because girls just can’t be pretty without makeup. Duh

2. “1 hour and I can’t keep my hands off you”- So, it takes one hour of primping to look irresistibly hot. ONE HOUR? My face would be as spackled as Kim Kardashian’s. But if that’s what you’re into…

3. “2 hours and do I die of starvation?”- Two hours would make me fucking supermodel status. But then you might die.

I certainly don’t want your hands on me, and I certainly don’t want you to die of starvation, so in that case I’ll opt for B. Sorry I just look “ok…”

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Like omg! He noticed my hair!

Well hey, at least someone did. Keep being you, buddy.

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Oh, the humanities!

Please note:

So far, I’ve put out zero times.

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Aaaaand we’re back.

Well THAT didn’t take long.

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I made a boo boo.

I was wondering why for about a week I wasn’t getting any bizarre messages. And then I realized my inbox was full. Not to worry- I’ve done a little fall cleaning!

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What WHAT?

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Cirque du sofail